Here’s something nice and frustrating . . .
So, lately I’ve been getting reports that people who have tried to send me e-mail to my main sbcglobal address have had them slam-dunked back in their faces (with authority). This is a problem on many different levels:
1) This means that there are potentially clients who haven’t been able to reach me;
2) I might have missed important gossipy tidbits, or at minimum, good jokes from friends;
3) I spend entirely too much damned money for DSL, only for it not to deliver messages to my inbox IMMEDIATELY.
I bit the bullet and called customer service (which is SUCH a misnomer), and was promptly, and invisibly, transferred to what must be their offshore service center. Again, many problems on many different levels. For example . . .
1) Most of these customer disservice people don’t speak fluent colloquial English. They understand the formal words, but if you happen to slip a “yeah,” “uh-hunh,” or any random bit of slang in there, it confuses them to pieces. You don’t want to confuse these people . . . trust me.
2) They take each customer through the same script, even when the problems don’t apply to that customer. If you take them out of sequence — even a tiny bit — they become flustered. Being that I’m more technologically savvy than some (meaning that I know how to read directions and troubleshoot BEFORE calling), this does nothing but piss me off.
Let me give you a sample of our conversation:
Cust. Svc. Guy: Hello m’am. How may I help you today?
Gina: Well, I’m having trouble with my e-mail. I can send messages, and I receive SOME messages, but I’ve been told that messages have been attempted that have been returned undeliverable, and there are a lot of people who tell me that they sent message that I never received. This tells me that there must be a problem with your servers that’s affecting messages sent to my account.
CS: Yes. Are you able to log in?
G: Okay, I just told you that there’s no problem on MY END, meaning that I am logged in and sending messages. I’m having trouble receiving them.
CS: Okay, well what kind of modem do you have?
G: Efficient Speed Stream, although that has no bearing on this situation.
CS: Yes m’am. Are all of your lights on?
G: In the house? What are you asking me?
CS: No m’am. I mean, are all of the lights on your modem on?
G: Yes, but what does that have to do with your server?
CS: Okay, are you over your memory limits?
G: No
CS: Are you sure?
G: Yes, I’m sure.
CS: Okay, well m’am, hold on, I need to talk to my supervisor.
[FIVE MINUTES LATER]
CS: M’am? Thanks for your patience [little did he know]. I really need to know what kind of modem you have.
G: Didn’t I just tell you that? Are you listening to me? I told you that there’s a problem with YOUR SERVER, not MY CONNECTION.
CS: Okay well I’m going to have to escalate your case to another department. [translation: let me give this to someone who knows how to do something other than check a modem and reboot]. Please hold while I document your case.
[FEVERISH TYPING IN BACKGROUND. FIVE MINUTES ELAPSE]
CS: M’am? I’m still documenting your case.
[FIVE MORE MINUTES PASS]
CS: M’am?
G: Let me guess . . . still documenting?
CS: Yes, m’am, thank you for waiting.
[MORE TIME PASSES]
G: Excuse me? We haven’t even been on the PHONE for as long as you’ve been typing. Is this going to take much longer, and will this eliminate my having to answer the same questions for the NEXT person you send me to?
CS: [CONVENIENTLY IGNORES THAT LAST QUESTION] Yes, m’am. What’s a good time for the technician to call you?
G: Anytime.
CS: Anytime?
G: ANYTIME.
CS: Thank you, m’am. Is there anything else I can help you with?
G: [CLICK]
Needless to say, my e-mail is still not working properly. It might never work again if SBC has anything to do with it.
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