After the following news blurb, I’m officially dep…

After the following news blurb, I’m officially depressed:

FOOD FOR THOUGHT: Soul Food stars Boris Kodjoe and Nicole Parker are engaged. Kodjoe popped the question on June 20 in his native Germany. They’ll marry next spring.

I’m trying something new, which is posting picture…

I’m trying something new, which is posting pictures to my blog. This is my Godson. Isn’t he a cutie? He’s always cute when he’s not in motion. :-) 

Well, I’ve almost run out of those "natural" muscl…

Well, I’ve almost run out of those “natural” muscle relaxers, which isn’t hard to do given that it’s suggested that one take about 12 a day. I’d say there’s about a four day supply in each bottle. I’m getting another back adjustment today, which I’m hoping will make me feel better. This time I’m being adjusted by my original doctor, who I’ve dubbed Dr. Cutie Pie for obvious reasons. It’s hard to concentrate when he’s working on my back. When I get back I’ll have to blog about how I got busted having a “chiropractor affair.” More later.

I’m apologizing in advance. I’m preoccupied with …

I’m apologizing in advance. I’m preoccupied with the condition of my back, which seems to be the bane of my existence these days. My chiropractor says that my back is “in crisis,” which isn’t comforting. Also not comforting is the fact that I don’t get any pharmaceutical relief for the pain.

I had the audacity to sit through two movies back to back yesterday, which I should have known better than to do. Sitting still for that long is a problem when I’m NOT “in crisis.” Five Aleves and four hours later, when the last film was over (saw “Dodgeball” and “The Terminal” — both of which were good), I actually wanted to cry, but since I was with a friend who would have neither understood nor appreciated that outburst, and given that I couldn’t remember whether or not my eyeliner was waterproof, I sucked it up and limped quietly to my car, wondering if, aside from eating a hole in my stomach, the painkillers had served any purpose.

At my appointment this morning, my doctor reiterated that I’m muscular and hyperflexible — two things which could preclude him/me from adequately streching and adjusting the problem area. And then he gave me (or, rather, I paid for) a bottle of muscle relaxers. He thought he was making me happy by telling me that they’re homeopathic and all natural. Wrong answer. The last thing I want is a natural muscle relaxer to treat pain that is, in my opinion, VERY unnatural. I want the most chemical relief possible. Hell, I would take a shot of morphine while sipping a percodan cocktail if I thought it would help. I guess if I had that combination, I might not care if I was in pain. But I’d love that opportunity right about now.

The worst thing about these muscle relaxers is that I have to take about 10 of them a day, as stated on the back of the bottle. It says to take 2 of them 3 times a day, and then another 2 with meals. How could I possibly have room in my stomach for a meal after all of that pill popping? If I had something more appropriate, like Vicodin for example, I would only have to take one of those babies, and my back pain would be a distant memory. But that’s not the luck I have this week. It truly sucks to be me.

Whining over . . . back to work.

Warning . . . I’m very whiny today, so if you’re …

Warning . . . I’m very whiny today, so if you’re disgusted by whining, go to one of your other favorite websites instead, and visit me tomorrow.

I’m supposed to be doing a little bit of client work, but I can’t seem to focus. I’m looking for a distraction.

I’m also wondering if I’ll ever be able to syndicate the column. I was trying to go the route of the Tribune, but as my luck would have it, they already found a columnist like me for Red Eye. Ugh!!!!! Timing is everything, and mine was bad on this. Oh well. Back to the drawing board.

I’m a little bored. My back is KILLING me and I c…

I’m a little bored. My back is KILLING me and I can’t sleep. I’ve burned through my phone book in the unrealized hope of finding good conversation (or at least someone who would be willing to hear me whine for about 5 minutes [give or take 1/2 hour]). I’ve also read half of the book that we’re reading in one of my book clubs.

It’s prime blogging time because I have a lot of random thoughts running through my head. The unfortunate thing is that none of them a) make sense when they’re all put together or, b) are even remotely appropriate for a mass audience.

Maybe I’ll sit in my window and ponder the mysteries of life, i.e. whether or not the pre-pubescent children who live on my block actually have parents, and if so, why said parents find it appropriate for them to play outside after midnight. That ought to keep me busy for a while.

LOTS of questions about the "Shades of Gray" artic…

LOTS of questions about the “Shades of Gray” article. This link will only be active until July 1, so if you’re reading this in an archive, let me know and I’ll try and get you a reprint. It’s about Situations, or Friends with Privileges (FWPs).

I don’t usually rant about column stuff, but here are the most frequently asked questions:

Q. My dating life seems to be one Situation after another. Will I ever get out of this rut?

A. I would say that’s up to you.

Q. Are you saying that Situations are a bad thing?

A. In my opinion, absolutely not, but there’s a price you pay for having them. If your objective is to have fun in the meantime, they’re fantastic. If you’re looking for a real relationship, I believe they can be distracting or detrimental. They’re actually a lot of hard work. You have to choose them correctly and make sure you’re not letting yourself get out of hand, emotionally.

Q. Should I have a Situation with someone I really like or think I could have a relationship with?

A. My answer is not just no, but hell no! That’s a heartbreak waiting to happen. If you like him/her — REALLY like them — I would tell you to attempt a real relationship before going the situation route.

Q. What if that person doesn’t want to have a real relationship with me?

A. Well . . . sucks to be you. Just kidding. Not really. It honestly will suck to be you for a little while, if only because your feelings aren’t returned, and frankly, that sucks. But it will suck even MORE to be you if you get into a Situation wanting something deeper.

Q. Do you have Situations?

A. I wrote the article, didn’t I? I try to stay out of them because the longer I live, the more I think that they’re even a bad idea for me . . . and I thought I had my feet firmly planted in a nice deep shade of granite gray.

Q. Are you still friends with any of your ex-Situations?

A. Not that I’ve had multitudes of Situations — before we let our imaginations run wild — but only one has had true friendship longevity.

Aside from all that, everyone should try and catch Bill Clinton on Oprah today. It was a really good interview.

I took a personality quiz this morning, and my wor…

I took a personality quiz this morning, and my worst fears have been realized. It was revealed that I have no personality whatsoever. Seriously, I’d say the results are pretty accurate, which is somewhat scary.

What Color is Your Brain?
brought to you by Quizilla

At work or in school: I work best by myself. I like to focus on my ideas until my desire for understanding is satisfied. I am easily bored if the subject holds no interest to me. Sometimes, it is hard for me to set priorities because so many things are of interest.

With friends: I may seem reserved. Although my thoughts and feelings run deep, I am uneasy with frequent displays of emotion. I enjoy people who are interesting and of high integrity.

With family: I am probably seen as a loner because I like a lot of private time to think. Sometimes, I find family activities boring and have difficulty following family rules that don’t make sense to me. I show love by spending time with my family and sharing ideas and interests.

Click on the link and take the quiz for yourself.

Went to the chiropractor this morning for some sev…

Went to the chiropractor this morning for some severe back pain that I’ve been attributing to my sciatic nerve, when in reality the pain has a different origin. I don’t know what’s wrong with my back, technically, but I can say with authority that it’s really screwed up.

Words that I hate hearing from a doctor “Can you come back soon? Like maybe tomorrow?”

Does anyone else think that John Kerry should name…

Does anyone else think that John Kerry should name Bill Clinton as his Vice Presidential running mate? That would make things interesting.

On another note . . . I contributed a few items to a garage sale being held by a few friends in Evanston this past weekend. I tried to submit items that I wanted to get out of my house that I thought someone else might value. There were a few iffy items — items that cause one to wonder why such a thing existed in the first place. One was a talking wreath, originally purchased for me by my mother, who can’t resist a perceived bargain and found it at a post-Christmas sale for a whopping $4.99 (reduced from $20.00). The creepy green thing has eyes and a mouth that moves as it barks Christmas cheer and scares the shit out of anything that walks past it. It makes me wonder why she saw it, at ANY price, and thought “Wow! I should get this for Gina. She’ll LOVE it.” But I digress . . .

The coup de grace of my collection, however, was a piece of “art” crafted by a friend of my father’s who isn’t a true artist, but was moved to create a plexiglass-encased sculture/carving/thing that looks like it was made from some sort of styrofoam. It’s signed and titled, but his handwriting is so illegible that I can’t make out the title. It was made in the 80s, so it’s not only amateur art, but amateur art with an 80s feel, which is never a good thing. When the “artist” originally presented it to my father, proud as a peacock, I nearly threatened to become an emancipated minor if he even thought of hanging it anywhere in the house. Fortunately, my father knows bad art when he sees it, so he thanked his friend for the gift, and it was forever relegated to a corner in the back of a closet.

Recently, while doing my parents a favor and specifically battling my mother’s inner packrat, I found the abandoned artwork. I put it in the Salvation Army pile, against my mother’s wishes (along with the zippered jumpsuit and suede patchwork poncho). She thought they should keep it because it was custom-made by a friend. I argued that we hadn’t seen this person in years, and pointed out that he should no longer be considered a friend based solely on the fact that he made that horrible thing and tried to pass it off as artwork.

I ignored her rebuttal and lumped it in with the other 20-30 year old items. Then, I decided that I couldn’t torture a Salvation Army patron by donating the art, so it stayed in my garage and collected more dust (the dust was actually making it look better). When I was pulling out of the garage with my other, more acceptable, garage sale items, I decided to add the art to my collection and get rid of it for good.

The other people involved in the sale agreed that it is potentially the worst thing they’ve ever seen, however they slapped a $5 sticker on it anyway and made a good attempt to unload it.

I wasn’t able to attend the sale, but I just heard word that all of my items sold, except for a lamp (which actually surprises me), and that damned piece of art, which I’ve renamed The Albatross. I heard that one kind person volunteered to take it off of our hands — free of charge. I mentioned that I would have been willing to cannibalize my proceeds by paying someone to take it. As far as I know, this heinous article will be re-offered in next year’s sale. I’ll make sure to let everyone know the date and time.