I got a call on my cell phone from a guy who I’ve known for a while. He asked me if we could talk further about his business ideas. The problem is that I didn’t recall having spoken about them the FIRST time. He became offended, and reminded me that we’d spoken — about 4 months ago — at a party.
When he reminded me of the circumstances, I vaguely remembered that I ran into him at a party during the summer, at which time I TOLD him that I’d been slightly overserved, and he sequestered me anyway, and forced me to talk to him about a wacky scheme which was couched as a “business opportunity.” I told him that I didn’t remember the specifics. He was doubly offended, as though I should have spent the last several months anticipating his call.
The funny thing is that, some people think that every party is a networking opportunity. I can tell you that, most of the time if I’m having fun at a party, the absolute last thing I want to discuss is business. If it’s an organized networking party, discussing work is fine. That’s what I’m there for, so that’s what I expect to do. If I’m holding a martini, the most I’m going to do is giggle and pass out column cards. I’ll answer brief questions about the column, to be polite, but that’s about as far as it goes.
I think we’ve all encountered the one guy at the party who, like the man in question, doesn’t take the hint. He seems to overlook the fact that you’re slurring and staggering (or heading down that path), and he ignores the bored glaze that develops over your once-vibrant eyes. He’s going to keep you there by any means necessary. He’s going to talk a hole in your head about the (boring) topic of his choice, and he’s going to be hostile and resistant to any (futile) attempt you make to get another drink (as if you really need one), or scurry to the bathroom. In fact, if you’ve been cornered by this guy and nature’s a-callin’, you’d stand a better chance at maintaining a healthy bladder if you bought one of these bad boys.
The more I thought about it, the more I remembered. I recall being absolutely miserable that night. I couldn’t get any of my friends to save me, and he wasn’t letting me leave without a fight. He refused to shut up until he told me his idea, and even in my vodka-induced stupor, it didn’t sound viable. But, who am I, right? Certainly not someone who should be telling anyone what to do about their business — especially if they’re passionate about it.
So, I’m sure you’re all dying to know what he wanted, right? He wanted to hire me to write his business plan . . . and he wants a discount. Yeah, that’ll happen!
