Will this girl EVER stop kicking ass? Sheesh! She probably has a holding cell with her name on it!
Archive for October, 2006
WTF, people?? If I get ONE more piece of chain mail that threatens to do harm to my family, or ruin my sex life if I don’t pass it on (i.e. ‘annoy’) at least 15 other people, I’m going to seek a revenge worse than that which is proposed in the message.
Today it was something about loving Jesus, and if I love Jesus, I should inform more people by forwarding them the original email.
Now . . . religious affiliation aside, for purposes of this argument, let’s just say that, for some reason, Jesus (or fill in the deity of choice) actually was looking for proof that we love him, and let’s just say that our fates in the afterlife are being determined by what is surmised. Do you think that our lives are being judged by our acts of kindness or donations to society? Or do you REALLY think it all boils down to a freakin’ email????
I can rescue animals, tutor children and read to old people, but that e-mail that I didn’t pass along? Yeah, that e-mail could have been my ticket into heaven, and I was simply too cavalier, too proud, and too holier-than-thou to add the e-mail addresses of trusted friends and annoy the living shit out of them.
Hell (pardon the pun), if all we have to do is supply the e-mail addresses of five people and hit the send button to enter the pearly gates, the world is full to bursting with social deviants who would qualify. In fact child molesters (since I seem to have them on the brain since watching Dateline [see the previous post]), during their daily computer travails, probably pass along several chain e-mails. I suppose they feel that the good luck bestowed upon them by further the chain will cancel out the fact that they’re seducing children.
What i don’t get is that the senders of these messages are, by and large, educated people who should KNOW better. They always apologize when they send these pain in the ass messages. WTF? How about DON’T send the letter, and save the “I’m sorry.” That would be the more compassionate choice, in my book!
I’m not alone
Maybe tis the season to be an infrequent blogger. Some of my most fave blogs haven’t been updated in a fortnight, and mine is no different. But I’m long overdue for an update, so here goes . . .
I have lots to reflect on.
First of all, a few weeks ago, I watched the latest installment of Dateline where they catch all of those perverted child molesters that pick them up online.
I guess I’m always perplexed/disturbed by the fact that these people actually seem pretty normal when they appear at the door, hoping to get some pre-pubescent tail. Whenever one of those shows airs, I’m always glued to the screen — hoping to God that I don’t recognize any of those men who have showed up at the homes of strangers.
When caught, there are the usual excuses: “I’ve never done anything like this before,” “This isn’t what you think it is.” My personal fave is “I showed up to talk to the child, and hope that she’ll never do anything like this again.” Yeah? So when would this “talk” occur? Before or after you got her naked, perv boy?
There was one guy — a man who’s clearly missing a cluster of chromasomes — who had actually been caught before on a previous episode of Dateline. He doesn’t look quite right — like perhaps he rode the short bus as a boy, or that he might have trouble functioning in mainstream society. Obviously.
No stranger to this procedure, when he walked in and saw the host of the segment, he could only say “Oops.” Just oops. He didn’t bother to make excuses. It was evident that he was only sorry that he got caught . . . and that the prospect of getting some might have been a worthwhile risk. EEWW!!!!
I was talking this over with my friend M., who has two teenagers. Of course she has a problem with these social/sexual deviants, but she brought up another good point — what’s wrong with these kids??
Sure, the ‘children’ involved in the Dateline scandal are decoys, but for every decoy, there are tons of other teenage girls who are seriously online, trolling for older men. M’s point is that these kids should have more supervision.
She talked about her daughter, who recently turned 14. M. said that if she ever came home and found a 45-year-old man sitting in her kitchen, she would call the police on him, but she would also KILL her daughter. Her daughter knows that she’s not to have company when there are no parents in the house, and that there will be no boys visiting.
Her internet traffic is closely monitored, and M has both of her childrens’ passwords, and randomly checks their e-mail. They know better than to complain of the invasion of privacy. M. makes very clear that, while they are living in her house and bringing in no significant source of revenue, all privacy claims are out the window. My parents felt the same way, and if I moved back in with them today (God forbid), they would STILL feel as though they own me. It was a great way to get me to move out for good, in retrospect.
On another note, the “That Bitch Has Lost Her Mind” award goes to Tyra Banks.
I was one of the lucky Chicago residents that was affected by the three-day power outage. Good ole ComEd!! And hooray for them for increasing their rates when they can’t even restore power within THREE freakin’ days.
During one of my many phone calls to ComEd, I finally reached a customer (dis)service representative. I asked her if there was any concession or rebate given to customers whose entire refrigerators full of food was going to be spoiled and smelly at the end of the power fiasco. Surprisingly, she had nothing insightful to offer. She did, however, provide a few interesting suggestions. If I wanted to recoup the loss of my fridge contents I could either a) report it to my homeowners insurance, or b) talk to my Link card rep.
Yep. You read correctly. LINK CARD!!
In case you don’t know what a Link Card is — because I didn’t before standing in line behind a Link Card user in the grocery store and hearing her complain that her government-issued balance was only $3.19, and her groceries totaled at least five times that — the Link Card is the modern day food stamp that’s given to those of lower (or no) income in the form of a debit card that draws from the budget monthly.
Instead of saying what I wanted to say (something like: “Bitch, are you HIGH?”), I sarcastically informed her that, not only am I not on welfare, but that I’m also not stupid enough to file a claim to my insurance company for a measly $200 worth of food. What is WRONG with these people???
And, the outage couldn’t have happened at a worse time. Right before the Bachelor (the pseudo-Italian-prince who probably has trouble correctly pronouncing ‘fettucine’) was about to distribute the roses, the power went off.
Let me digress for a second. What I find interesting about The Bachelor (because I’m sure you’re all dying to know), is the caliber of woman that actually decides to throw their hat in the ring — on national TV — on an alleged pursuit for true love.
This season, the crew visited the homes of the potential bachelorettes and watched their reactions when they were told that they made the show. Not that the camera crews would have tipped them off that something big was about to happen.
The hilarious part — okay, well ONE of the hilarious parts — was hearing the explanations of the women: “I’m here for the right reasons.” “I’m definitely looking for my true love.”
Something tells me that each of those women would have better luck finding true love while working the pole.
Once they arrived in Rome, they were amazed that this season’s bachelor is a prince, and that his name is plastered all over Italy and well known as a royalty. Personally, I like my princes to have accents and at least speak the language of the country in which they reign. This bachelor admittedly speaks “menu Italian,” which means that he orders a lot of pizza.
I can’t for this season to get started.
