New column and . . .
The new column released today, and it’s all about doing the right thing. CHECK IT OUT!!!
And . . . I hate to admit this, but I threw up in my car this morning. Yep, I sure did.
This has almost happened to me many times in the past. I’ve narrowly escaped barfing on the bus in the past, which would have been infinitely more embarrassing.
I’m one of those people who takes a handful of vitamins, etc., and chugs down a large glass of water as I have one foot out of the door to go to work. Sometimes, the pills don’t agree with me, and sometimes I don’t drink enough water. I think I had both things working against me this particular morning, because somewhere around Clark and Roosevelt, I felt an uncontrollable urge to purge — if ya know whut I mean!
This could have been a true disaster. First, I was wearing my ultra-gorgeous fur coat (and I don’t want to hear any shit about wearing fur. I rescue animals, for Chrissake, so give me a freakin’ break!) AND, today’s my company Christmas party, so it would have been terribly inconvenient to smell like half-digested vitamins (nice thought, right?)
What saved me was my car-bage can. I love this thing!! It looks like a portable coffee cup, and even fits in the coffee cup dispenser, but it’s really a small garbage can where I throw dumb things like parking receipts and lollipop sticks (I love lollipops). Fortunately, nothing was occupying the cup this morning, because I certainly found a use for it.
I was proud of myself. It was seamless, and not even remotely sloppy. I felt the urge; kept perfect wheel alignment with my left hand, while holding the cup in my right. I even had the presence of mind to scream obscenities at the jackass who was driving the 12-child-toting, dirty, white urban assault vehicle (i.e. minivan) and thought it was appropriate to pull out in front of me while driving 15 miles an hour. If I can maintain my road rage, I’m all good!
That said, now I’m feeling great, my clothes are unsoiled, and I vow to drink an extra glass of water to wash down my 15 vitamins the next time. More importantly, I’m ready to start the day of partying.
