Trading Spouses My favorite quotes from this week…

Trading Spouses

My favorite quotes from this week’s Trading Spouses, fresh from TiVo:

Abasi (militant black man): I wish you could be black for a week. You probably would kill yourself.
Marguerite (the famed “God Warrior” from a previous episode): WHAT?
Abasi: Yeah
Marguerite: I would not, cause I will tell you something. I’d be hip-hoppin’ , having a good ole time, eating gizzards.

Now, the funniest thing about that exchange is that the man in this conversation is an extremely militant conspiracy theorist, and highly sensitive about race issues. The fact that Miss God Warrior made it seem that all black people do is sit around all day, happily listing to Snoop Dogg in front of a vat full of gizzards. And, by the way . . . gizzards? I don’t think a gizzard has ever grazed my tongue. But I digress.

The fact that he didn’t jump down her throat for that comment is nothing short of amazing.

Personally, I wouldn’t have been able to say anything. I would have been too busy doubling over in laughter with tears streaming down my face. WTF?

My, do I love reality TV!

Neighbors and the animals that they don’t take car…

Neighbors and the animals that they don’t take care of

I was inspired by Jen to write this post.

My next door neighbors have two behemoth dogs. Now, granted I love these dogs, and it is my belief that Roscoe and Foxy love me right back. Their owners . . . well that’s a different story.

A few months ago, I blogged about the steaming heap of shit that I stepped in while walking across MY lawn. I ended up confronting my neighbor, and they were a little more conscientious about picking up the shit — which was probably exacerbated by the fact that I took to standing in my window — in plain sight — and watched them as they walked the dogs to make sure that they were armed with little baggies.

As I’ve slacked off with my Mrs.-Kravitz-like behavior (simply having more to do with my time than to facilitate the proper handling of animal waste), they’ve slacked off, and I’ve noticed a few misplaced heaps.

But yesterday, while walking past their house, I noticed not one, not two, not even three, but no fewer than SEVEN heaps of dog shit in their front lawn, inside their gate. That tells me that these lazy bastards have just been letting the dogs out in the front, without a thought in the world of picking it up.

Now I can’t help but think that several piles of dung, if left alone for a while, would be a haven for vermin. I’ve been wondering who I can report this to, before rats begin frolicking in the yard.