Horrific week
I’m not having a very good week. Actually, the early part of the week was fine, but the last few days have completely sucked.
First, I was working on a freelance assignment, and I actually got fired from it yesterday! It was one of those frenetic projects that involved tight timeframes and a moody client who hadn’t really defined his direction. The agency folks that I was working with were wonderful. They tried to give me all of the information that they could about the brand that I was working to help define.
They wanted humor and edginess, and when I gave them my brand of columnist-Second-City-trained brand of humor, it didn’t go over so well. It was a bit too cheeky.
So . . .I thought I had a deadline today that I stressed over yesterday, and when I didn’t hear from the account exec. all day with revisions, I knew it was a bad sign. Then, when she and I finally connected, she told me that they decided to use an internal copywriter, which, reading between the lines, really meant: we hate your stuff, we’re not going to keep using you. It stung, because I always want everyone to love my work, but I understood their feedback.
Now, let me confess . . .I was almost relieved, and would have been completely relieved if my ego wasn’t bruised. I’ve come to the point where I feel that I might have to let go a few of my freelance assignments — not RedEye, of course — but any of the other work that I insist on competing for should probably come to a screeching halt. If I can’t do a good job, I shouldn’t do it anymore.
On top of my having been fired from my writing gig, I’m having a very strange argument with the BF. If I explained it, you’d think it was dumb. Hell, I think it’s dumb, and I started it. Although I honestly didn’t mean to start it. And, of course, he thinks it’s dumb — and is actually quite unappreciative of me for starting it.
The thing I hate about these arguments is that I’m never sure what the ramifications are. At what point does someone make the decision that the whole thing’s no longer worth it? At what point do they take that turn in their minds and start thinking about things differently, and lower their levels of commitment? Do they tell you when they reach that point, or do they just start behaving differently and starting down a path that will undermine the relationship? And if they begin undermining the relationship, how long is the countdown? Or, can you turn it around?
The interesting thing about relationships is that they make you face things about yourself that you hate — and expect someone to like you anyway.
