I have this down to a science, and given that I have “found” two pounds this week, I feel that my life can serve as an example:
1. Go out every night. And I mean EVERY night. Drink and eat with reckless abandon while you’re out. What can one more cocktail or coconut shrimp hurt? Just have a great time.
2. Eat a hearty lunch every day. That’s right, don’t say no to fries or (turkey) burgers.
3. Take samples from all of the candy bowls in the office. If you’re fortunate enough to be in a workplace where the admins (or anyone else) put gratuitous bowls of dangerous candy on their desks (e.g. mini Snickers, Milky Ways, etc.) for passers-by, be sure and grab a handful each time you walk by. Make sure that you take several breaks to walk around the office during the course of the day (and strategically chart a path near the best chocolate).
4. Engage in drunken snacking. No explanation required.
5. Be sedentary, and forget the definition of “health club.” Who has time for that, what with all of your social activites.
If you follow this program to the letter, your thighs are sure to be rubbing together by Memorial Day.
