I came down here to Puerto Vallarta a few days ago to get away from the city. It took me exactly one day to pull out the laptop, and I was pleased to realize that the Blackberry works down here — although God only knows how much I’ve racked up in overages from making phone calls. But a girl’s gotta keep up, right?
We’re staying in a resort called Paradise Village, which is largely comprised of timeshares. I was invited by my friend Lorrie and her mother, who visit here annually. They hardly let you get your foot on Mexican soil before giving you the hardsell for a timeshare. They bribe you with a free breakfast, and discounts on activities to make you sit through a 90-minute spiel. And I’m embarassed to admit that I allowed myself to be pimped out for a percentage off of water sports and a couple of slices of french toast (which was muy bien, by the way).
I decided against signing my life away, with the notion that I might sponge off of Lorrie and her mother’s timeshare more often. 
Well, not really. But they do invite me every year, and I never come for various reasons. First, I don’t relax well. It’s a flaw. Second, I was freelance for a long, LONG time, and always thought I was going to miss a project. Third, which actually relates to the first, I’m really not the lay-out-on-the-beach-at-a-resort type. I don’t really need to get any darker, necessarily, and I typically last about 1/2 hour before getting antsy and saying “Okay, so NOW what?”
Let’s put it this way . . . everything I believed about myself is true — as is evidenced by the fact that I’m blogging right now instead of boogie boarding.
Not that I’m not having a good time. I really am. I’m having a great time. I’m concerned, however, that I’m eating my way through this city, and Mexican food isn’t exactly known for being light. I’m staying away from the things that I know are deady — such as creamy drinks and excessive amounts of refried beans (with the following exception. I had to at least sample ONE coconut mango margarita, didn’t I???).
By the way . . . say NOTHING about the hair.
Chips have been the enemy. The fortunate thing is that our penthouse suite has a kitchen (two, in fact), which means that I can stock it with thigh-friendly snacks, like cereal, dried apricots, and mega bottles of water.
The best parts of this trip are being able to hang out w/Lorrie, who I don’t normally get to spend this much time with, and coming in close contact with wild animals. There are a few monkeys in a cage on the property, and I’ve already made friends with one of them — he’s a baby, and I think he wants to come home with me. He’s about the only kind of baby I would bring home.
Some of you have asked if there are cute guys down here. The answer is a resounding no. Not that I was looking, but this is more of a family resort. If you’re a single girl with a hook-up plan, this resort is not the place for you. However, if you’re looking for a country full of flirtatious natives, Mexico just might be your spot.
I’ll be back very soon, and I’m kind of looking forward to getting back in the swing of things, although I’ve had a great time here. I wonder if I’ll ever get the sand out of my suitcase?
