So, I get a lot of mail, and sometimes I get a message from someone who has clearly failed to understand the point.

I got one such letter today from Glen, who felt that my online dating column was an attack against racism in dating. So, dear Glen wrote the following note:

“Ms. Gina B. Let me enighten you about something. There is no such thing
as racism in dating. If people prefer one race (and/or gender) over
another, it is perfectlly fine. Have you heard of the word freedom or
“personal choice?” Some races and genders create a reputation that makes
them less desirable. They need to live with the consequences of their
actions.”

“Let me enlighten you about something?” Is he serious? He must be on that new crack.

I was SO ready to aim both smoking barrels and fire away. I thought of something like “Glen, I seriously don’t give a fuck about who you date, or what might be your perception of mine or any other nationality. All I really care about, Glen, is that you read my article thoroughly before sending a stupid letter. I ask that you put your reading comprehension skills to good use. Clearly I believe in personal choice. Our lives are nothing, if not a series of our personal choices. In fact, I’m sure that many women have exercised their personal choices by declining to date you.”

I was good. I was, in fact, rather sweet. I wrote, instead:

Dear Glen:

Thanks for you message, but I don’t think you understood the point of my column. My turn to enlighten you.

I will point you to the following paragraph:
“To set the record straight, I have absolutely no problem with anyone’s preference. If you don’t want to date someone who looks like me, no worries. I’m happy to find a person who does.”

To further clarify, my point is that I applaud freedom, and have my own, very specific personal choices about who I will or will not date.

My issue is with dating sites who don’t match people up BASED on their personal choices. To depersonalize this, if you don’t like dating purple women, wouldn’t it piss you off if you got a steady stream of purple women in your selection of choices? Particularly if you’ve paid good money to find blue women?

Understand?

Have a wonderful weekend.

Gina

Should I have been harsher? Thoughts?