As a young adult, my father told me that I should drink liquor as close to straight as possible. The mixers are what kills you, he said.

And no, my father was not trying to create a burgeoning alcoholic. He’s a musician, and if he doesn’t know, who does? He was merely trying to minimize my hours of misery after partying. Like everyone else, I had my fill of wine coolers in my early drinking days, and learned my lesson on several occasions after suffering from hours of drinking fruity concoctions.

In recent years I’ve taken his advice to heart. I either drink vodka tonics (very little tonic, and lots of lime), wine, or Maker’s Mark (yep, I said it. And I drink it neat.)

Last night, I violated my policy. I went to a house party, where there was a menu of pre-mixed drinks. They were fruity with plenty of mixers, liqueurs and — yikes! — grain alcohol. They weren’t offering anything outside of this menu, so I reluctantly asked for a cup of punch.

BTW, the last time I went to a party where there was a pre-made punch, I alarmed other guests by walking into the kitchen and saying “Oh, there’s punch? Cool!! Who brought the Rohypnol??” I spent the rest of the night referring to it as “date rape punch,” which thrilled the host. What? I was joking!! Jeez! But I digress . . .

I nursed the punch for a while. It was WAY too sweet, not highly tasty. After 1/2 cup, I abandoned it for a glass of water. But the damage was already done.

Later, I flirted my way to a bootleg vodka w/sprite. The quasi bartender made it especially for me, and I drank it, even though I would have preferred tonic. Another bad move. Sprite = sugar.

I was totally rocked, and ended up exchanging flirty text messages with a person with whom I have a great deal of sexual tension. I think I passed out before his last message was delivered. I’m sure he thinks I’m insane.

So, woke up this morning with a raging headache. I NEVER get hangovers, so I’m a big baby whenever I do. I refused to get out of bed, and wasted the day, which pissed me off. I’m a “make hay when the sun is shining” type of gal. I even missed my brunch, although I could have completely used the pancakes. I rotate between a group of girls for brunch, and I totally missed my rotation, which means that I’m thrown off for about month.

Lesson learned — lay off the mixed drinks!! Dad was right, as always.