So, I’m somewhat sick. Translation: I don’t have a runny nose or fever, but I’m coughing a lot and I feel a bit of congestion in my chest. I went to the local (ghetto) Walgreen’s to look for a remedy.

The thing to know about me is that I have no fear of generic brands that have the same active ingredient. If it contains the same percentage and it’s $3 cheaper, why not? I’m sick so infrequently that it hardly matters, right? Yeah . . . not so much.

I was reading the boxes, trying to determine which would be the right medicine for me.

Do I have a runny nose, fever, sinus irritation? Nope

Do I have a sinus headache combined with chest congestion and a cough. Almost, but not quite.

Do I have watery, itchy eyes with a runny nose, fever and chills? No. Thank God.

Do I need a drowsy formula? Hell no.

Am I light-headed with extreme hunger and a desire to laugh at things that aren’t funny? Translation: am I high? No. But at this point, I wouldn’t mind.

Finally I found the right formula: cough with chest congestion.

Right next to the Robitussin, I found the Walgreen’s product. Same symptoms, same active ingredient, $3 less. Bingo.

Well . . . now I’m home, and I took this other (inferior) Tussin product, and I’ve decided that I need the Robi, because something is awry with my Tussin. Whatever the hell is in Tussin, it apparently needs the Robi to get the wellness party started.

Not only have I notstopped coughing, but I think I’ve coughed more in the last hour than I have all day. There’s a rumble in my chest so loud that it scared Phoebe, who was trying to sleep peacefully on my left (serves the little brat right for meowing in my face in the morning, but I digress . . . ).

I have no idea how I’m going to sleep tonight. Do you know what lack of sleep means? That’s right . . . more sickness.

WTF?? No more Tussin for me. It’s Robi all the way.